Walking Marriages: Society Dominated by Women

What if civilization granted women enough power to reject her lover once the desire is gone? The matriarchal lineages are so strong that there is no word equivalent to mother. Business matters are meant for and handled by women. Women have their own living space, property passed down through and to other women and there are no formal marriages.

The Mosuo people also known as the Kingdom of Daughters does exist. It is a small village in Lugu Lake area is a high mountain plateau lake, 2685 meters above sea level, located 202 km northeast of Lijiang on the border of Sichuan and Yunnan provinces, on the Yunnan-Guizhou Plateau in China.

According to the Mosuo Project,

For the most part, everyone lives within communal quarters, without private bedrooms or living areas. However, women between certain ages can have their own private bedrooms.

Traditionally, a Mosuo woman who is interested in a particular man will invite him to come and spend the night with her in her room. Such pairings are generally conducted secretly, so the man will walk to her house after dark (thus the description of “walking marriage”), spend the night with her, and return home early the next morning.

While it is possible for a Mosuo woman to change partners as often as she likes – and in fact, having only one sexual partner would be neither expected nor common – the majority of such couplings will actually be more long term. And few Mosuo women will have more than one partner at a time.

The man will never go to live with the woman’s family. He will continue to live with and be responsible to his family; she will continue to live with and be responsible to her family. There will be no sharing of property.

Most significantly, when children are born, the father may have little or no responsibility for his offspring (in fact, some children may not even know who their father is). If a father does want to be involved with the upbringing of his children, he will bring gifts to the mother’s family, and state his intention to do so. This gives him a kind of official status within that family, but does not actually make him part of the family. Regardless of whether the father is involved or not, the child will be raised in the mother’s family, and take on her family name.

This does not mean, however, that the men get of scot-free, with no responsibilities for children. Quite the opposite, in fact. Every man will share responsibilities in caring for all children born to women within their own family, be they a sister, niece, aunt, etc.

Below are a few snippets of a traveler’s account on her stay in the Mosuin village,

At that time the Lugu Lake area did not have street lights. The oldest daughter and I walked home in the dark, behind us were a bunch of men holding touches, chatting and laughing. I asked, Is your boyfriend among them? Is he coming to you tonight? I want to see how handsome he is. She laughed bashfully, pointing a finger at me but couldn’t talk. Not until we reached the door when she whispered to me that it was still early, time for men to drink and chat. He would come late in the night, after everybody at home had gone to bed.

I became more curious. You two already have a son, how come you are still so shy about it? Her face turning red and she laughed again. She pulled my long hair and complained, Why are you asking about everything? I’m not talking any more. Her expression made me yearn for the Mosuo love.

She later asked,

- How do you end a relationship?

- When the woman stops opening her door, or the man no longer comes in the night, the old relationship is ended and both sides are free to start a new one. It’s all natural.

See footage of the Mosuin people here.

Is this scenario paradise for men or women?

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