Does Love Conquer All??
February 8, 2010 by Mr. Jones
Filed under Coming Together
Recently a friend of mine posted a profile pic on Facebook that said “Love stinks”. This pic went from back and forth posts to a long phone conversation.
Her argument: Love sucks, love makes you powerless and the negative parts about love are not worth it.
My defense: She does not know real love and love conquers all.
After, our going back and forth we agreed to disagree. I understand her point a little bit more but feel she is wrong. To me, nothing is worth having if you are not willing to fight for it. It does not matter if it is your spouse/mate, job or anything.
I had someone else bring up the subject of love to me, and once again I stated that no matter what you say, love will conquer all and if you and your spouse part ways, it was not love at all. No matter how you felt, love has to be a 2 way street in order for it to work.
If you put in work and the other one does not, is that love? They can treat you good, but only put in 30% of a effort. Is that love? What about the person, who has you and another on the side. Both you and the side piece know about each other, who do you love? Can you love both at the same time? Is it even love to begin with?
Love is a topic you can talk about all day. At the end of the day, everyone wants love and needs it.
Can someone give me some insight on LOVE??
Love definitely means different things to people. The way that people have varying threshold levels for pain, the same goes for love. In my opinion (and I reserve the right to change my thoughts midway through this post!), Love is the desire to place the life of another at the same level (or above) the importance of your life. That “another,” could be parents, children, other family members or friends, pets, etc.
In most cases, you wouldn’t place the other life ahead of your own (pets, other family members, etc.), however you might do that with a child, parent or significant other.
Challenge (for me) is keeping it all in perspective. There are friends who bring on strong feelings that might include love – but those might be laced with lust, care, or just strong “like.”
In this instance, your friend might be rendered as “powerless” because she’d engaged in a physical relationship too soon (or sometimes, after too long a period of time).
Note to most women: You have all the power before engaging in the initial sexual encounter. Afterwards, its negotiable.
So, unless you just want sex (and be honest if that’s what you want, because its OK), make sure that you’re establishing a relationship first, and not just setting the guy up for a nice booty call.
LOVE DOES CONQUER ALL! The problem is that most people allow love to change their perspective on life when things don’t go as planned. Okay, so you loveD a man that it didn’t work out with, what did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about men that you can take into the next relationship? What did you learn about how to carry yourself when you decide you are ready to love again?
To the woman considering a divorce, it was probably love in the beginning but other things got in the way. I find this to be the biggest problem in relationships, letting other people and other things get in the way of simply loving one another, supporting and encouraging one another and knowing that what you have is stronger than anything your friends and family think you have. If you love that person, WORK IT OUT because once you get through the hard parts, the reward is soooooo worth the work and you realize that what everyone else said/thought never really mattered.
To the person who feels they are putting in 70% and only getting 30% look at the situation before you simply look at numbers. Is the person giving 70% the only one employed? Is the person giving 30% the one with more kids, more expenses, more responsibility and less income to make it all happen? Does the person giving 30% offer more in ways that are easily overlooked and cannot be numerated (is that a word???)?
To the one who knows there is a side piece, your problem is that you don’t love yourself enough to know your worth so how can you demand it from another? And how can you expect your S.O./spouse/etc to love you like you deserve if he only has 50% of him/herself to give you in the first place? In this case, the person splitting their time between two has too much love and does too much sharing – it is still love, just unbalanced and unfocused.
Yes, there are varying degrees of love and one should always consider how much love they give and to whom (think of family that you love but don’t like) but simply put, we were not created to be alone and love has always been and will always be the “glue that bonds,” so why would anyone think that love would never conquer all???
Point blank, love is and always will be the basis for everything!
I agree that you gotta know what the heck LOVE is first of all! Second, love will conquer all only if the love is mutual. One-sided relationships usually remain one-sided, and filled with painful moments.
Love doesn’t stink though. If done correctly, the smells are mutually rewarding and appreciated!
I would say love truly does conquer all, once you find it. But before you can find it and keep it you have to love you first. I can understand why she said love stinks, (been there) but that is when you have to remove yourself from the game for a minute and refresh. All of the definitions or interpretations of love thus far have been so on point.
DarkBrown I agree with your view of the one sided relationship. Unfortunately, there are many people in those types of relationships.
Thanks ElleAshley, there really ARE too many people in one-sided relationships. So much goes back to communication – being honest in discussions and listening carefully helps; along with paying attention to nonverbal cues.
Thanks for the comments everyone.