Toxic vs. Nourishing People
November 18, 2009 by Jo
Filed under What You've Missed
“A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people” Will Rogers
All of my friends who are successful have two things in common which are they have defined sets of associations and they avoid toxic people.
The people you associate with have a profound affect on how you feel and what you’ll ultimately achieve. Toxic people continually spew their verbal poison. Negative people will always drag you down to their level. They hammer away at you with all of the things you can’t do and all of the things that are impossible. After listening to toxic people, you feel listless, depressed and drained. On the other hand, nourishing people are positive and supportive. They lift your spirits and are a joy to be around. When you surround yourself with people who are happy, driven and well balanced, you too are more likely to become happy, driven and well balanced. In addition, these people will not drain energy from you and you will feel better when you are around them.
Also, keep in mind appearing to be happy, driven and well balanced is totally different from actually being it.
Yesterday was the most interest day I’ve experienced in quite some time. There’s this person who seemingly has a great life but has a habit of hammering away at people who aren’t in agreement with them.
First, they said something disrespectful to me on my status update on Facebook in which I ignored. Then, the person proceeded to tag me in a note on Facebook that further spewed how they felt about the situation with other people tagged on the note. The entire time I was trying my hardest to roll with the punches and remain somewhat positive but after I left a comment, I found out everything the person feels about me from day one which includes a lot of false praise of on them self, lies on me, belittling me and a lot of stuff I can’t remember because they said so much in such a short period of time. I was shocked that so much could come out at one time but at the end of the day the person said they were “EXPOSING ME” for what I was worth.
Then, I decided enough is enough and went in. My comment was immediately deleted, they deleted our Facebook friendship and sent me a personal note on how disrespected they felt. I took at least 8 shots before I said my one that ended it all.
Then, I saw this comment the person left on my site… What would the world say about your behavior on a day to day basis. He probably does have some issues. But don’t we all. I drink every damn night. Every night. This is not right. And I keep saying Imma stop but still make it to the liquor store after work to get another bottle of wine to crush. Alcholosim runs deep in my family. Im an adult with a sound mind and decent head on my shoulders but I feel like I need help unwinding after long stressful days. What would America say about me if I got caught in one of my moments.
Lesson learned, everything that has a little shine isn’t glitter and most importantly isn’t gold. I tested the relationship and ended up with more venom than fruit. The person was simply timing up for me so by no means do I feel bad by what I said in our last conversation but in all honesty I saw the signs and ignored them so I got what I deserved.
“A sad soul can kill you far quicker than a germ,” John Steinbeck.
Avoid toxic people.
On the other hand, my associations and bonds are growing with other likeminded individuals. Maybe solidarity will be result from us feeding, helping, promoting and challenging each others’ content? Only time will tell but one thing I know is that I’m not forcing any false friendships.
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A lot can be learned by the commentary you wrote. Each of us have most likely heard to “associate with positive people,” and to “choose friends wisely,” still, we all wind up having some connection with people who we might have a lot of love for – but we can only take them in small doses. So I’m feeling you on this one Jo.
With each year, my friend base continues to evolve. Even family relationships evolve, with some younger members get more attention (in attempt to help them obtain their goals), and older ones (who unfortunately have lost sight of their blessings) receiving less attention from me.
Stick to being positive. Being positive ain’t always easy, but counting your blessings are – and knowing that you’re blessed will sustain you during periods when “man” lets you down. And pray for the person you’re referencing in the blog; they need someone to pray for them.
Continue to be yourself. There is always going to be toxic ppl around. I have them around me, but I know how to play my position and know how close or how far they should be.
That person who harrassed you has issues and is a complete hater and is obviously angry @ someone or something and decided to take it out on you. Pay them no mind because at the end of the day, that person will continue to be miserable. If they were not going to attack you, then it would have been someone else.
They were not successful in bringing you down, so they are burning on the inside and IF THEY ARE READING THIS, I SUGGEST THEY SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY!!!!
If you’re still standing . . . smile! I’m certain they threw their best. Know its a temporary hurt; better knowing now and getting it out of the way. From all I’ve gathered from this site – you’re a class act!
Toxic people are always in pain. The fact that you’re still standing is eatin’ away. Now, let’s stop giving them our energy! Something tells me dey azz don’t deserve it! LOL
I’m glad you didn’t feed into the negative energy this person was putting out. Some enjoy living in the negative and want others to come down to their level, but you remained positive and stead-fast in your decision to rise above it all. If you were once friends, I’m sure you know a lot more than you put into this article and you know that you simply need to pray for the individual, your friendship and your own ability to keep doing what you’ve been doing and that’s being positive and classy when it counts the most.
Naw…I got tired and went to her level. I couldn’t help it.
Releasing stress is good too!